The Missing Pages


That moment when you press play on your iPod while heading to work, passing numerous streets without even checking the roads. The volume is so high you can barely hear the noise around you.

The moment when you’re one step on the road, lip synching the latest song from P!nk, while slightly turning your head to the left and observing a truck heading towards you, more than happy to end the song  faster than expected…

You see, I didn’t believe in destiny till last year, I always said to my loved ones that you create your own destiny, you’re the one who pins your wants and dreams. You pick the path and definition that represents or suits you…

I met this girl from Brazil, back in Portugal, she was a house mate and now one my dearest friends. It was some kind of a welcome party, the first one in our soon to become family. And she told me, “Norbert, I believe in destiny. I feel like I’m meant to be here. We are meant to be here, I was meant to meet you, to sit down and to have this conversation”.

So my mind tells me that destiny could be easily defined as having an artificial life. In software terms you’re pretty much an ever updating running application installed somewhere on the system that sooner or later will crash by overuse or killed by some virus, application or system itself.

No. I tend not to believe that my life is already well written somewhere on a great book of What-so-ever. I believe of me being who I see everyday in the mirror… Yet, how could you say “I made this decision today. My decision. I wanted this…” but what if this was already there, on the page?!

Instead of debugging till giving myself  migraines I decided to believe her. It’s nice to meet people who strongly believe in something and proudly share with you their piece of mind. If carefully listened with your right side of the brain, and putting on hold your own believes, you can really solve some puzzles.

You see, regularly I tell people I don’t believe in God. Period. Yet before going to sleep a thank for today and pray for a better tomorrow. To who? To something bigger than me. Something nameless that doesn’t come with a title like “creator of the universe” and endless unanswered questions humanity dance around for ages. And definitely something that accepts me the way I am, no mater what decisions I take. I pray to something that gave me free will as a gift and reminds me every second that I live only once. Which means that I should enjoy my time the way I feel and not the way religion or the oldest book tells me to. If this is God by definition, then fine, I believe in Him.

Now back to destiny. Before I met my friend I couldn’t even pronounce destiny. After our discussion I had a little fight with my ego. I still won’t accept living a life already decided for me because I strongly believe in myself and my dreams. I’ll never accept destiny’s voice telling that your mission here is to grow cucumbers somewhere in a farm though you have the capability to rule the world.

So then I came up with a theory called “The Missing Pages”. Yes, the universe may decide some main events of your life. Primary missions that may take you to your goals and dreams. And these so called missing pages are opportunities, secondary quests that could change your main goal to a greater one or even bring you closer to it, depending on your actions, on your free will.

I tend to believe that we all have a purpose in life and we can’t die without going throw the last sentence of our book of What-so-ever…

So destiny keeps on eye on you, making sure you won’t check out too early, and I think that’s why I looked on my left involuntarily and stopped going further… Or else I would probably tweet from a hospital right now or, mhmm…, even worst! 🙂

Interesting though how your body and mind reacts in these moments. The way you hear your heart beat, the last sound from your earbuds, the feet glued on the concrete and then your mind going blank in about a millisecond. Everything stops around you, just like in TV show when the director shouts “Cut!” and you zoom out from the scene to see the surroundings… But then, out of nowhere, this slot machine appears into your mind. Instead of classic fruits and bonuses going up and down you see flashbacks of your dearest memories… But that’s another story to tell!.

What’s your opinion about this article? Do you believe in destiny? Do you have the feeling you were born and raised to complete some sort of intergalactic mission?



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