Challenges and broken dreams

Yup, here I am writing again. I had this challenge almost a month ago and, well, I kept it on for six days, instead of 27, as announced. And now I realize that I have a problem with finishing started things and this one of those major flaws that could ruin my whole life. I can’t  hold on things. I think I it’s some sort of a bug that 20 something year old people are experiencing. At least I’m hoping this so I wouldn’t need to face my problems. Funny how our minds are always looking for a quick fix, a reason to everything just to help us feel better.

You see, I am overwhelmed with so many wants and wishes, so many objectives and dreams that I got lost in the process of making them come true. I feel like drowning in a pool of my own blood. So probably the best move would be to sit down and have a long talk with myself. What do you I want? Where do I want to go? How do I feel? Do I need all this around me or I can simplify my surroundings?

It’s time to grow up!

And now I feel like putting on display all my flaws, everything I hate about myself in order to cleanse my aura. We all have flaws, I am not ashamed of who I am and I accept myself with whatever I have in that brain of mine, even if sometimes I feel like I’m a complete moron.

Also, for sure it’s important to see your flaws, to accept them and learn something. The best lesson here would be not just to accept who you are by identifying your bad parts but to turn them into assets, helpful tools. You know what I mean?

Diamonds are made out of coal, right?

 So I’m a 23 old spoiled brad, living with my parents and pretty much having everything I need (maybe more. Maybe!). God bless my diva attitude. It’s so well developed it’s shareable with at least 3 people. Oh, and have you  heard about my friend’s boomerang shaped penis? I know, right?! Gossip, gossip and gossip. My mouth is full of garbage, always spreading everything I hear. Share something with me and I’ll make it viral!

Even so, I’m blessed with a great number of amazing friends, and I’m the kind of self-centered, selfish, complicated bitchy type of friend. I am a mess, a social prostitute with cheap flaws.  But I have vision, I see the future, and it’s bright. I see my mistakes and I’m giving them a makeup. But if there is a vision, a sparkle and a tiny amount of motivation and self-analysis.  I may be bitch every now and then but I’m learning. I know and I want to clean things up. The change is here and now.

Gosh I love writing!

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Grateful Living Experiment: Day 6

Quite a challenge writing every day about things you’re grateful. But the good thing is that there’s always something to be thankful for. I mean, look,  it’s freaking Friday, I’m at work, time flies like a dead bird and I’m just too exhausted to even yawn… I am kind of a mess (at this particular moment. It’s a never before seen moment. Good that I’m alone!) and to think that I’ll also work tomorrow!? Makes me wanna jump into a pool of urine… But that’s me!

Not much happened since my last log, probably because I feel a little bit down. I guess it is also part of the project. The point is: I am going through I lot of things, changes and plans (so many it hurts!). And I can’t really focus on everything so I really need to sit down and eliminate the side quests.

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I want to cut down a few but don’t know which one. Which one?! I’m afraid to – What if I pick the wrong one? Time will tell? No. Things have to be resolved as soon as possible.

But let’s be grateful. I am more than happy that I picked the right gym to go to, even though it’s in a mall and my debit card hits H&M before I reach the actual fat burning place but yeah, also, grateful for H&M and their cool tees and other products (I bought a blue tee with many, many small bicycles on it. Got to say, more than grateful for the money I have and definitely grateful that I’m able to spend it on things that I desire.

Grateful, grateful and grateful. Are there any other synonyms for this word?

Also, I thankful that I made a gym friend. I met him in the sauna, he was quite social – I guess he was waiting somebody, anybody to join him because nobody uses the sauna at the gym, which is a shame cause it’s quite amazing. So we stood 10 minutes in our own sweat talking about the benefits of steam and heat over the human body.

Definitely grateful for one of my buddies’ girlfriend because she is honest. She tells the raw truth, the way she sees it, right in your face. Which quite helped me to analyze and understand a couple of things, and probably the reason why I am a little bit down. It’s a progress: now I know what my main mission is.

Grateful that I’m smiling and feeling ready to move the mountains even if my body tells me “dude, time to hit the bed!”

I’m grateful for now, for this moment, for being here and just writing,  pouring my thoughts in order to keep my calm. Grateful to be grateful. Is that even possible?

Thankful, and always will be, for planet Earth, its weather, water, fruits and vegetables. Grateful for Europe and its culture, architecture, delicious food. Then, I’m grateful for my life – the way it is- even with its ups and downs.

Grateful Living Experiment: Day 5

Probably yesterday I was in hurry writing and also fused with amusement, cause I read my last post and it feels a little bit rusty and childish. Hope that you just wen’t with the flow and didn’t judge me too much. Well, today, as the fifth day of the project, I want to be grateful for a very interesting event that happened to me yesterday. I went to the gym, this time all by myself. I wanted to discover all the cardio equipment on my own routine and, you know, me and my iPod and its Lana Del Rey   phase…

Anywho, yesterday I tried the sauna. I just couldn’t stay another day knowing that it’s there and I am not using it and wow… I am more than grateful that I went there because it was amazing, especially after a well phased cardio workout. That steam really calmed the muscles, even if my nostrils burned like hell. After a 10 minutes session and a cold shower after, I felt a whole different person!

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The fun part is that I didn’t know how things work at the sauna so I went without my swimming suit or an extra pair of undies.Of course, my underwear  got all wet and, yeah, I went home commando for the first time ever. Quite breeze, I must say!

Remember this: Bring your swimming wear and an extra pair of briefs at the gym. You never know when you need them!

Let’s see, I finally finished my search for new workmates at my job, we hired today two really cool guys and I’m thankful that it’s finally over and everybody is pleased with my decision, even I — I’m quite proud actually! I’m grateful that I met them. And can you imagine one of them coming out of nowhere, just showing up at the office, to your desk, asking if we’re hiring? There truly is something out there listening!

I am happy. Things are turning out quite the way I want and I’m so happy, so, so happy! And grateful for everything around me, like my healthy parents, closest friends, awesome job, brand new gym, the music that I’m listening now, the french fries that I ate like a pregnant woman moments ago, the client we have at the advertising agency (finally things are getting to catch!). I am grateful that I am busy, healthy, lucky, handsome, thin and happy.

Grateful Living Experiment: Day 4

It’s quite challenging to maintain this experiment but after I finally finished my resume which was quite a while on my To Do list and also applying for 5 interesting jobs, how could I not be grateful?

For sure I’ll repeat myself many, many times with the following sentences for the upcoming weeks but I am more than thankful for my past, the opportunities I had and the friends who helped me to achieve everything I have so far.

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It was quite a journey today, analyzing my past, going through my so far life experience and have to say, at 23 years old (almost!) I can nicely fill a few chapters! So believe it or not, I do have an amazing life. And I’m grateful for every inch of it. Also, feeling funny today, so have to be grateful for that too!

Yesterday I subscribed to a new gym with sauna included (never been in sauna before!) 10 minutes near my house so I’ll be spending all my energy there for the days to come. I’m grateful that I took this decision because otherwise I would end up slacking inside the house after work, watching Will and Grace or something similar. Now, that I payed the fee and quite a spicy one, I feel more than motivated or quite obliged to go burn the fat off my six pack. And I am grateful for my six pack because it’s nice to have one and goes well with any outfit. Heck, it goes well even with a potato sack!

Back to the resume, I’m grateful for all those awesome projects I organized with friends in the past months because I learned a lot and met a lot of people. I’m grateful for those project based travels for their amazing memories, thousands of pictures, dozens of friends and all that international love that now defines my shadow.

I’m truly grateful that I’m alive, that I breathe fresh air, that I see the sun while listening to my favorite songs. I’m grateful for every second of my life  because I experience all I can and I’ll do my best. That’s why we’re here!

Grateful Living Experiment: Day 3

First of all, I am grateful for the apple I just ate, it’s healthy, juicy, full of vitamin C and it’s just darn good no matter what time it is.

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Today I am grateful for my tattoos, two things that I’m proud of and for sure, never regret. The first one, a peace sign, inked in December 2011, Portugal. I studied there for six months and decided to go with the flow and just grab a few and do it. Now, I was dreaming about this tattoo for years, it represents me, my spirit and mission in life. I made it for those who live in fear, for those who hide under defined stereotypes. For those who use discrimination to cover their own lives or those who judge at first sight. For me, this tattoo represents Equality. It doesn’t matter what color our skin is, what sex orientation we have, nationality, religion, if we’re poor or rich, tall or short. You and me are meant to be, period.

My life is just too short to look for a definition of “normality”. Especially when there is so much more to life that that!

The second one, a feather with a four leafed clover (credit to one of my dearest friends who drew my vision on paper), inked in August, last year, right after I returned from Sicily. It’s called the “Attraversiamo” tattoo   and it represents the backbone of our lives and the luck that hugs our days, while also shouting freedom, traveling, friendship and love. To add even more value, I made it with one of my best friends. I have it on my left leg while he inked it on his right. So I guess it’s also a symbol of true brotherhood.

And when I look at them, I’m grateful to so many things! To the world, the people I met, friends I made and myself, my beliefs and just the way I am. I accept all my flaws, they are mine and mine to deal with. The only treasure that makes you unique are the flaws that you accept. Otherwise I would just be a Norbert from Romania, yet another bug from the world’s terrarium. And no, I’m the one and only Norbert who is confident about himself, proud of his moments and damn right ready to conquer the upcoming years.

I’ll write this with all my heart: I’m truly grateful for the Universe, the parents and all their forces, for giving me the chance to grow and throwing all those great opportunities at me. Thank you. Thank you. You’re giving me the life I dreamed once and for this I am forever grateful!

Grateful Living Experiment: Day 2

Today I feel like being grateful for my job and not just because my pockets are being pumped with money in a couple of hours but because I really love what I do here. I work at a rental company not to far from the city. It’s a place where my professional self is being tested daily. And even if it’s an office job, requiring a lot of brain power, it never gets old or exhausting because everyday I do something new. So I’m grateful for my job because, even after a year, it continues to push my limits and teach me a little something every time.

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I’m grateful for the money I have because I’m able to travel every once and a while, buy myself clothes and other necessities, invest or go out with my friends. Even more, I am truly grateful for the things I have, like my computer, phone and iPad, my parents’ apartment, my nicely decorated room and the building we’re living in, because without them my life wouldn’t be as comfortable as it feels now or full of activities. Beyond all that snobbery, I’m grateful for its protection, its secured tomorrow, its refugee from anything bad that could happen.

I am truly blessed to have a healthy body because I am able to walk for hours without being tired, wake up in the morning before the alarm clock itself, read from a distance even if a big part of my childhood was sitting in front of a computer playing games, hear the sound of nature even after years of booming speakers in my ears. Truly blessed because I can live the way I want without problems, and this, my friend, is the biggest gift of life. Thank you senses, organs and cells for keeping up the good work!

And now that think of, I am so happy and grateful  that I started this experiment. It’s only day two and it feels so good to look for things around, things to be grateful for. It gives a whole new perspective to everything.

For example, minutes ago a colleague of mine brought me an ice cream, just like that. He went to a nearby shop to buy himself something sweet and decided to grab some for me too. How nice! How thoughtful! All this time I was and most of the times still am, you know, all for myself, just me, me and ME when it should be us, us and US. I am grateful for those who give, give even if they barely have for themselves. Humanity has still a chance and I for sure will change.

With all my heart I want to thank all those who believe in me and supported me all these years, from family to friends, neighbors to random people on the street, thank you for staying strong and going on with your lives. I wish you all amazing lives and hope that from now on we’ll all live in peace and harmony!