A little drama is always welcomed to our lives, depending on how we take them. I could actually use salt and pepper as new chapter openers or fresh starts. Everything depends on your perspective.
In this particular time of my life I’m in some sort of a bottleneck. To many things happening, poor planing and new content coming all the time. New projects that end up in the dumpster unfinished. And all this goes boldly written right in my journal, ruining my mood, stealing my energy and just sucking the life out of me. Everything moves fast yet I’m feeling like I’m stuck in this one particular place where I left myself quite a time ago.
I’m not saying that I didn’t grow, I’ve actually learned so much about myself yet nothing productive, nothing the way I imagined. Not that I know what I want to do, cause I have no idea… Probably it’s because I want so much from life, you know, like now, just give me everything, in this moment… Or that I’m missing a lot of detail even if I think that I’m actually living the moment.
Like most of many of you, I want those particular friends, that particular wardrobe, those airplane tickets, that experience… This amount of money, that job, driver’s license, masters degree, more and more traveling, eventually moving out from my parents’ house and just get lost, be rich, live in a penthouse and experience the Great Gatsby on my own skin? That sad?
Not necessary saying that I’m disappointed, which I am, of me, myself and I – Don’t really know why, but I am. I need to do more, I need progress, I want the world to be mine… I need to lead something big, to create, to leave something behind… I have the flare, I have the motivation but not sure what’s keeping me from actually succeeding…
Even though, I need a rebirth, a fresh start… I need to just stop whatever I’m doing and start putting everything to their shelves and keep shit organized, simple. Which for sure they are but my mind is completely loaded with, again, lots and lots of shit.
And no, time never tells, you just have to put your hands in and start making changes otherwise life just keeps kicking you in the sack.
The hatching starts tomorrow.